So, Newbie Dad and I are going to take Baby MB on our first family vacation this month. Apparently we are the kind of people who like to gamble, so rather than a short road trip we have decided on a 5 hour flight to Arizona, which is 3 hours behind us in Toronto.

We have been doing a lot of research by talking to friends, reading other articles and checking out my friend Jess’s blog about travelling with children: Room Service Required. I will be sharing some of her great advice with you this week!

Anyway, as the trip approaches, all I think of is what could go wrong. As a result I now have ridiculous dreams about our first flight that will (probably) never happen. Want to read about them? Of course you do!

Dream 1: Don’t touch the Window!

I let Baby MB look out the window of the air plane. He begins to smack the window with his little hands, and suddenly the window pops out and his head is sucked into the hole. The flight attendants tell me that we have to keep his head plugging the hole for the rest of the flight or the plane will crash. I freak out about the baby getting injured or dying, and they tell me that it is a risk they are willing to take. Besides, babies, like dogs, enjoy hanging their heads out of the window.

Dream 2: Please Check your Baby

We head to the airport with all our luggage. As we approach the counter to check our luggage we are told that the airline has a new policy about babies on the plane. We now have to check the baby in a crate, like the dogs travel. It is better for the rest of the passengers, we are told. We refuse, and are told that we can probably sneak him onto the plane in a carry-on.

Dream 3: Babies Can’t Fly

Even though he is under 2 years old, we are told there is no seat for him. A pilot is walking by and says that Baby MB can sit with him in the cockpit. We are not so sure that is a good idea, but it is that or we go home, so we agree to try it. Halfway through the flight the plane takes a nose dive. Oxygen masks fall from the overhead compartments and people start screaming. Then the plane recovers and the pilot comes on the intercom to tell us: “Everything is fine, folks. We were just settling a bet up here in the cockpit. It turns out that babies cannot fly air planes. You will also be happy to know I won $50. Have a great rest of the flight.”

Dream 4: Bring the Earplugs!

We take off and everything is fine until a passenger walks by to go to the bathroom and scares the baby. He screams for 4 hours and will not be comforted by anything. People begin preparations to throw us out of the air plane, including giving us a parachute. Luckily, the plane lands. Whew.

Well, at least our flight can’t be worse than those dreams. Right? Anyone else have strange dreams before travelling with your little ones?