You know those commercials where people get their mom expensive jewellery?
Let me set the stage for you: they are playing in a meadow wearing their most formal attire and the little kid pulls out a box. The mom opens it, discovers a pair of diamond earrings that the kid could not possibly have the credit score to purchase, and gasps in delight. The commercial ends with her hugging her angelic little ones as the camera swirls around them.
This may be what the commercials show us, but that’s not what new moms like me really want.
What do new moms really want? Here are my suggestions:
A Nap: Minimum length of 2 to 3 hours of uninterrupted sleep. And no snuggling. Get out of my space and let me nap.
Clean dishes all day long! (And no, I don’t want to help. I just want them to magically become clean and put away.)
A large cake. Also, I want to eat the whole thing right off the platter. By myself. I do not want to give anyone a bite, so don’t even ask.
A really long shower with the door closed. I will be washing my hair AND shaving my legs. I will then put on lotion and dry my hair. I have no idea how long this will take, because I have not tried to do all these things at once in over a year.
The chance to watch a full movie without interruption. Any movie really, because I will probably sleep through it anyway.
Time to read a book. I used to read all the time and now I rarely get the chance to read until bedtime, at which time I read 2 words, read them again 3 times because I forgot them and then fall asleep. I would like to read for 1 hour during the afternoon.
Baby laughs. Boy, I love those baby laughs! Lot of those please. No fussing required, just cute laughs.
A day without diapers. On Mother’s Day, it should be a rule that moms of babies do not change any diapers. Especially not poop. Mother’s Day should be free of other people’s poop – unlike every other day.
Food that magically appears when I want it – this is also called take-out, I believe. I would like to want food, think about it and have the food appear without cooking, cleaning up after it or going to get it. Just magically appearing food. Is that too much to ask?
And finally – I want to wear the same clothes all day long without getting any drool, breast milk, spit-up, pee or poop on them. Just clean, nice smelling clothes all day long. Yup, that’s the dream.
Well, that’s what I want. What are other moms with babies hoping for this year?