I finally understand people who mow their lawn at 8 am. I used to think they were assholes. Why were they doing this so early? Why couldn’t they wait until 9 at least? Do they not realize that other people are trying to sleep? And WHY do they keep stopping and starting the mower like 20 times? If they kept the noise going at least it might act like white noise and others could still sleep. So annoying!
Fast-forward ten years and I discovered the answers to all these questions, while I was mowing my lawn at 8 am. First, they’re not assholes, they just have kids. Continue reading
I don’t know about you, but I love those “best of” Twitter feeds. You know, the ones where the author puts a bunch of great Tweets on marriage, parenting or a variety of other topics together all in one place. Awesome for those of us who like to laugh but don’t have time to scroll through Twitter.
But, my friends, what the heck do you have to do to get your tweets on those lists? I’ve tried absolutely nothing. So, wait, you mean I should tweet more than sporadically, have a lot of followers and put in some work on marketing? Yeah, I’m not doing that. It’ll eat into my showering time. So, instead I think I will just make a best of 2018 list for my own awesome feed! Brilliant. Here we go.
On Pregnancy and Labour:
Well, it’s that time again! Time to celebrate the holidays with family and friends. It is apparently also time to write Christmas letters and stick them into cards to update said friends and family on your life for the last year. I love getting these, but I almost never get myself together enough to write one for our family. So instead, let me send this digital version to all my friends and family online. Here goes:
Dear friends and family, (and internet strangers) Continue reading
My toddler LOVES sports. Actually, I think this is an understatement. He lives for sports from the moment he wakes up until the moment he falls asleep.
Are you a sports fan? Do you think you know all the rules? My toddler says you don’t. As with most things, toddlers have their own way of doing things and my toddler has made up his own (much improved) rules to several popular sports.
So, just in case you come over to visit, I would like to record the toddler-approved rules to baseball, soccer, football and hockey. (Because if you come over here, you will be playing one of them.) Continue reading
My kid looks nothing like me. No, he’s not adopted. You see, even though I grew him and gave him half my genetic material, he is basically a tiny version of my husband. It’s like I wasn’t even there. (Though I remember the pregnancy and labour quite vividly.)
My son looks so much like my husband that the first thing the nurse said was, “Wow, he looks like Dad.” Yes, even as a newborn, when most newborns look like tiny, pink old people, mine apparently resembled my husband. No need to call in Maury Povitch on this one, folks. Continue reading
As parents of a young child, we didn’t have a lot of time to hit the mall this Christmas. Instead of facing the crowds we ordered almost everything with Amazon Prime. Stay home and have our presents come to us? Yes, please! (By the way, I am not affiliated with Amazon at all and am not receiving any payment for this. I’m just a fan.)
One by one our gifts arrived. We felt pretty happy with ourselves.”We’re winning Christmas!” we thought, as we tossed the empty boxes in the back room to deal with after the holidays.
Well, the holidays came and went and our pile of boxes grew and grew. By January our back room was no longer visible under all of the boxes. We could break them down and put them out for recycling, but that’s no fun.
Instead, here’s a list of things I can build with our Amazon boxes from Christmas:
The Walking Dead is one of my favourite shows. Actually, my entire family are avid fans. We were so excited to see the season premiere this past Sunday. (And then horribly traumatized, but that’s another post.) Anyway, as we watched, I began to realize that the Walking Dead is exactly like parenting. Well, maybe a little more bloody, but otherwise pretty much the same.
Here are 7 Ways that Parenting is just like the Walking Dead. (No, there are no baseball bats involved. Sorry…too soon.)