Strange things I have talked to my baby about

I’m a talker. Have I mentioned this? Probably. Anyway, I have always talked to myself out loud when I’m alone. Without the baby, this is a bit weird so I try to pretend I’m talking on some headset if I’m caught.

Now, since I don’t go anywhere without the baby, I can chat away to my heart’s content to my captive audience without looking weird(er than normal). I chat to him all the time! Not only is MB riveted with my fascinating anecdotes but I’m working on his language skills.

Here are just a few of the strange things I find myself talking to my son about:

The merits of Greek yoghurt vs. regular yoghurt. I have come around to the Greek camp here, because I like the thickness of it. Baby MB was fascinated by this, as no doubt are you, fine reader.  Continue reading

I Don’t Understand Birth Plans

I don’t understand birth plans.

I mean, I know what they are, but I don’t really understand why they exist.

I did not write a birth plan. I am someone who likes to plan. I plan for a living. My husband and I planned for a summer baby. (And luckily got one.) I love lists. But I did not write a birth plan.

If I had, I think it would look something like this:

Birth Plan

  1. Get baby out of my uterus. Seriously, get him out now.
  2. Keep us both safe.

Continue reading

New Parents Talk a Lot About Poop

Originally published February 16th at Mommy Connections East Toronto

poop emoji

I talk a lot about poop these days. I mean a lot. Like way too much and to way too many people. To my husband, parents, friends and even strangers.

It wasn’t always like this. I used to have regular, non-poop conversations about all kinds of things.

Before my son was born I talked about poop a normal amount. Not being a plumber, medical professional or teenage boy, I didn’t really have much cause to talk about it. My poop conversations increased slightly after my husband and I got a dog, but this was nothing compared to what happened when we had our baby. Continue reading

Things I cried about when I was pregnant

The dog food commercial where a chocolate lab jumps into the car at progressively older ages. (I have a chocolate lab. After this commercial, I cried into her fur and asked her to live to be 107 years old.)

Dairy Queen got rid of my favourite blizzard and I didn’t have a back-up. Continue reading

I try to write some clickbait titles about parenting, and you won’t believe what happens next!

A Mom changes her baby’s diaper. You won’t believe what’s inside!

            Okay, you probably will.

A baby goes to bed. Bet you can’t guess what happens next!

            Spoiler: it does not end in sleep for anyone.

Continue reading

Weird things my baby finds amusing

  • The word arugula
  • The word couscous
  • Me pretending to eat his tummy
  • My dog squeaking her toys
  • Me doing push-ups at my workout class (To be fair, this one is hilarious. I suck at push-ups.)

Continue reading