Strange things I have talked to my baby about

I’m a talker. Have I mentioned this? Probably. Anyway, I have always talked to myself out loud when I’m alone. Without the baby, this is a bit weird so I try to pretend I’m talking on some headset if I’m caught.

Now, since I don’t go anywhere without the baby, I can chat away to my heart’s content to my captive audience without looking weird(er than normal). I chat to him all the time! Not only is MB riveted with my fascinating anecdotes but I’m working on his language skills.

Here are just a few of the strange things I find myself talking to my son about:

The merits of Greek yoghurt vs. regular yoghurt. I have come around to the Greek camp here, because I like the thickness of it. Baby MB was fascinated by this, as no doubt are you, fine reader.  Continue reading


I Don’t Understand Birth Plans

I don’t understand birth plans.

I mean, I know what they are, but I don’t really understand why they exist.

I did not write a birth plan. I am someone who likes to plan. I plan for a living. My husband and I planned for a summer baby. (And luckily got one.) I love lists. But I did not write a birth plan.

If I had, I think it would look something like this:

Birth Plan

  1. Get baby out of my uterus. Seriously, get him out now.
  2. Keep us both safe.

Continue reading

New Parents Talk a Lot About Poop

Originally published February 16th at Mommy Connections East Toronto

poop emoji

I talk a lot about poop these days. I mean a lot. Like way too much and to way too many people. To my husband, parents, friends and even strangers.

It wasn’t always like this. I used to have regular, non-poop conversations about all kinds of things.

Before my son was born I talked about poop a normal amount. Not being a plumber, medical professional or teenage boy, I didn’t really have much cause to talk about it. My poop conversations increased slightly after my husband and I got a dog, but this was nothing compared to what happened when we had our baby. Continue reading

Things I cried about when I was pregnant

The dog food commercial where a chocolate lab jumps into the car at progressively older ages. (I have a chocolate lab. After this commercial, I cried into her fur and asked her to live to be 107 years old.)

Dairy Queen got rid of my favourite blizzard and I didn’t have a back-up. Continue reading

I try to write some clickbait titles about parenting, and you won’t believe what happens next!

A Mom changes her baby’s diaper. You won’t believe what’s inside!

            Okay, you probably will.

A baby goes to bed. Bet you can’t guess what happens next!

            Spoiler: it does not end in sleep for anyone.

Continue reading

Weird things my baby finds amusing

  • The word arugula
  • The word couscous
  • Me pretending to eat his tummy
  • My dog squeaking her toys
  • Me doing push-ups at my workout class (To be fair, this one is hilarious. I suck at push-ups.)

Continue reading

The Itsy Bitsy Ear worm (Or, Get these Damn baby songs out of my head!)

Do you find yourself singing “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star” in the shower? Are you running out of animals to appear on Old McDonald’s farm? Do you know at least 7 songs that are sung to the tune of “Frere Jacques”?

Welcome to life with a small child! Or perhaps you are a music teacher? In which case, you have been dealing with the particular brand of torture that comes with listening to repetitive, catchy songs for hours on end. If you are both a new parent, and a music teacher, like myself, then you are uniquely qualified for dealing with the music that will now be the soundtrack of your life. I have been unknowingly preparing for this for a decade. Continue reading