Mom of 3 flies first class, eats all the snacks, refuses to leave

My husband and I decided to do something special for our tenth wedding anniversary this summer. First, we were going to leave our kids at Grandmas for the week. Then we would climb into bed, turn down the lights, find the perfect music and just….sleep. Oh, wait, did I mention this would be done on a plane? I had better explain.

We decided to fly across the country for a kid-free trip and as the ultimate indulgence, we cashed in our air miles to buy business class tickets. We have never flown anything but economy, so this was a big deal. However, please do not tell us how much this normally costs. Since air miles are not real money, it was easy to upgrade when no real numbers are involved. I’m serious, please do not send me the dollar amount. Some things are best left unknown.

As the day drew closer, we began to get excited about the flight. Would there be fancy food? Champagne? Lots of people in monocles and top hats? We really had no idea. We had never seen what was on the other side of the curtain. We heard rumors of full sized snacks but were trying not to get our hopes up.

“It is probably not that much better,” we told each other. “We probably won’t even notice the difference.”

Well friends, let me tell you that we were wrong. There was a major difference and it was glorious. If the entire trip had been that flight only, I would have been totally fine with it.

We were able to board first, with no line and sit in our giant seat pods. After a while we began to wonder when we were going to see the rest of the passengers walk by us. Finally, I realized that they had a completely separate entrance, so the business class people never even have to look at the economy people. In fact, the way the seats were set up, everyone in business class got their own little seat pod. So not only do the business class people not have to look at the economy people, but they don’t even have to look at each other. My husband and I started our anniversary trip by spending 5 hours completely ignoring each other and we loved it.

I stored the suitcase in my own personal over head compartment and took a look at the swag that covered my countertop. There was a small bag with socks, a toothbrush, air mask and mints. There was also, and this was my favourite part, a full sized duvet. Not a little airplane blanket. We are talking a full sized, down filled duvet. Why would I need such a duvet, you ask. Well, I needed a full size blanket to go on my awesome seat bed. My seat is a small pod, which actually folded down flat into a bed. I also got a full sized pillow and a mysterious half blanket for my nap. You bet I napped – I have 3 kids under 4 and the seat folded into a bed. That’s really all I need. Not only did I nap, but I also put on noise-cancelling headphones and played music from the spa channel while I did it. Actually, I’m getting ahead of myself here. First I had breakfast.

As I settled my seat-bed into the seat, a flight attendant came by with a mimosa and a menu for breakfast. When my breakfast arrived, the flight attendant folded down my tray, covered it with a table cloth and then put down a tray with a second table cloth before finally setting down my beautiful breakfast plate in front of me. Now, I have young kids so things are not very fancy at our house. I have not seen a table cloth in at least five years. I didn’t think I missed it, but I was kidding myself. I will now have two tablecloths minimum at all dinners. It will nearly double the laundry, but it will be classy as hell.

After breakfast, I explored the features of my seat. I found a massage feature, which allowed me a back massage while reclined in my seat-bed, sipping my coffee. I spread all my stuff over my counter space under the window and dimmed the window light. That’s right, no white window shade in business class. I got to choose from 5 dimmer settings using a button instead. So I dimmed the window, put on my headphones and napped like I wasn’t a mother of young children. Best. Nap. Ever.

After my nap and my full size drink and chocolate bar snack, I found I couldn’t avoid a trip to the bathroom anymore. We all know how cramped and unpleasant air plane bathrooms can be, but the bathroom in business class was downright luxurious. First, it had a window, so you could look out at the sky while you peed. Well, my husband could. I was facing the wrong way for that. Secondly, there were toiletries in that bathroom that I don’t have in my real bathroom. There was a face mister in a lemongrass scent and several lotions. I used to have lotion too, but my toddlers dumped it on the dog. I miss lotion, I thought wistfully as I opened the bathroom door, I will have to buy more sometime. Do they make child locks for that?

On the way back from the bathroom, I glimpsed my husband in his seat way across the aisle and gave him a thumbs up. After 16 years together we have really become efficient in our communication and by this gesture he understood that I was trying to say, “Ahhh, there was a window in the bathroom and I just had the best nap in my duvet-covered seat-bed.” He responded with another thumbs up which I know meant, “I know, did you try the face mister?” Then we ignored each other until it was time to leave the glorious plane home we had come to love.

We were first off the plane, and as we headed to the terminal, I gave a teary wave to the flight crew who had brought me all the snacks. It had been a magical trip, and as one final gift from the universe, when we arrived in baggage claim our suitcase slid out first. Best holiday ever. See you in another ten years, business class.

 

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