How to Play Sports like a Toddler

~ newbiemomsite ~ Leave a comment

My toddler LOVES sports. Actually, I think this is an understatement. He lives for sports from the moment he wakes up until the moment he falls asleep.

Are you a sports fan? Do you think you know all the rules? My toddler says you don’t. As with most things, toddlers have their own way of doing things and my toddler has made up his own (much improved) rules to several popular sports.

So, just in case you come over to visit, I would like to record the toddler-approved rules to baseball, soccer, football and hockey. (Because if you come over here, you will be playing one of them.) Continue reading →

An Open Letter to Sleep Regression

~ newbiemomsite ~ Leave a comment

An Open Letter to Sleep Regression

Dear Sleep Regression,

On behalf of parent’s everywhere, I would like to tell you a few things that you need to hear.

First, you are a terrible house guest. You show up without warning, either way before or after the books say you are coming. I mean, would it kill you to call first? Send a text? We have lives, you know. You can’t just show up in the middle of the night like that. Especially on a weekday. And you always show up at the most inconvenient times: busy times at work, holidays where you need to deal with difficult and judgy people, when one parent is away. Continue reading →

How it feels when your kid does not look like you.

~ newbiemomsite ~ 4 Comments

My kid looks nothing like me. No, he’s not adopted. You see, even though I grew him and gave him half my genetic material, he is basically a tiny version of my husband. It’s like I wasn’t even there. (Though I remember the pregnancy and labour quite vividly.)

My son looks so much like my husband that the first thing the nurse said was, “Wow, he looks like Dad.” Yes, even as a newborn, when most newborns look like tiny, pink old people, mine apparently resembled my husband. No need to call in Maury Povitch on this one, folks.  Continue reading →

When Mommy met Coffee (A Reluctant Love Story)

~ newbiemomsite ~ 6 Comments

Today I’m going to tell you the story of how I met someone very important to me. No, not my husband – though that’s a good story too. No, this relationship has been long and tumultuous, but has a happy ending. It’s a real-life romantic comedy.

Except that the male lead is not some handsome guy – it’s coffee. Yes, coffee. I would like to tell you the heartwarming tale of how this mommy met coffee.

It all started over a decade ago….

Continue reading →

100 Pieces of Advice for New (and Newish) Moms

~ newbiemomsite ~ 2 Comments

Today is a big day at Newbie Mom Site: It’s my 100th post! I decided to celebrate by collecting 100 pieces of advice from parents.

I know what you’re thinking: “Uh, Newbie Mom, isn’t your blog tagline about how you DON’T do advice on the blog? And now you’re giving out advice?”

Oh, you read that, huh? Well, um, yes. But, it is a special occasion, after all. Maybe the tagline should be no advice except every hundred posts, when I’ll throw out all the advice I can think of. That’s catchy, right?

Anyway, I talked to many of the wonderful people in my real and virtual life, and they gave me a wealth of great tips for life as a parent. The names of these terrific people appear next to their advice. Any advice without a name is mine.

Here are 100 Pieces of Advice for New (And New-ish) Parents:

Or anyone who likes advice, really. Continue reading →

Guest Post from Toddler MB: My mom doesn’t understand me

~ newbiemomsite ~ Leave a comment

My mom thinks I am taking a nap, so I decided to give this blogging thing a try. Just give me a minute to learn how to type. Okay, I’m ready!

Even though I’m only 17 months old, I consider myself a pretty clear communicator. I wave, point, cry and nod with the best of them. I am not sure what else I could do. I mean, I guess I could learn some more words, but I’m pretty content with my vocabulary at this time. (Cheese, dog, bus, no and bye are really all I need to get most things.)The problem is, no one else seems to understand me. Continue reading →

Things I Forgot how to do after my Maternity Leave

~ newbiemomsite ~ Leave a comment

 

I am happy to have another article up today on Her View from Home! This one is about the shock that is returning to work after babies. Spoiler: It is kind of like living for a year in captivity and then being released into the wild again.

Here’s an excerpt:

I have recently gone back to work after a year maternity leave with my son. (Thank you Canadian maternity leave laws!)  Returning to work after children is a whole new world. Forget everything you think you know about being a working adult. (Though that was bound to happen anyway after a year at home with a baby.) I have enjoyed being back at work, but five minutes into my first day back, I realized that I completely forgot how to act like a normal adult.

Here are just some of the things I forgot how to do normally after my maternity leave:

Eat

At home with my baby I mostly stuffed food into my mouth absently. Then as he got older, I had to eat at the speed of light before he noticed what I was eating and tried to take it. I ate while multi-tasking, I ate while hiding in a closet. I ate scraps off his highchair tray while he clung to my legs.

Then I got to work and I realized that I had no idea how to eat like a normal human being. I had so many questions! First, how do I use these utensil things? Why is food so hot? Do I have to share any of this?

Want to read more? I guarantee it will make you feel better about returning to work. Click here to read the rest.

Thanks!

 

An Alternate Reading of The Little Engine that Could

~ newbiemomsite ~ 2 Comments

My son loves to read. Right now his favourite books involve trains, cars and farm animals. However, as much as he loves story time, he doesn’t yet have the patience to actually listen to the full story.

For example, this week’s favourite book is a classic: The Little Engine that Could. He wants to read it like 10 times a day. However, he only permits me an average of 3 seconds per page. So, like any resourceful mom, I have developed my own version of the story.

Would you like to hear it? (Well, read it?) Of course you would!

Here is my version of the Little Engine that Could: Continue reading →

Things I can make with my Amazon Boxes from Christmas

~ newbiemomsite ~ Leave a comment

As parents of a young child, we didn’t have a lot of time to hit the mall this Christmas. Instead of facing the crowds we ordered almost everything with Amazon Prime. Stay home and have our presents come to us? Yes, please! (By the way, I am not affiliated with Amazon at all and am not receiving any payment for this. I’m just a fan.)

One by one our gifts arrived. We felt pretty happy with ourselves.”We’re winning Christmas!” we thought, as we tossed the empty boxes in the back room to deal with after the holidays.

Well, the holidays came and went and our pile of boxes grew and grew. By January our back room was no longer visible under all of the boxes. We could break them down and put them out for recycling, but that’s no fun.

Instead, here’s a list of things I can build with our Amazon boxes from Christmas:

Continue reading →

More Proof that Toddlers are just like your Drunk Friends

~ newbiemomsite ~ Leave a comment

Okay, full disclosure: It has been a while since I was drunk. I was never someone who really got drunk a lot, but it has really lost it’s appeal since my son was born. Who wants to be hung over around small children? No one.

Even if you don’t miss the after-effects, you may still miss the fun aspects of drinking. Going out at night is fun, right? Hanging out with friends is fun. (I seem to recall…) Also, drunk people are hilarious.

But newbie mom, I never go out at night anymore. How am I supposed to find drunk people to laugh at? Never fear! I’ve got a solution: hang out with a toddler!

It is common knowledge that toddlers are basically just tiny drunk people. Any internet search will confirm this fact. I am not saying anything new here – I only offer more evidence.

Here is more proof that toddlers are basically the same as your drunk friends:

Continue reading →