10 Commandments of Taking a Dog and Baby on a Walk

I. Thou shalt stop at every lawn for the dog to sniff. If the dog happens to skip a lawn, they shall pull you violently backward so as not to miss the delightful smells of this lawn.

II. The dog shall hate when you move steadily, but the baby shall hate when you stop. Thou art screwed either way.

III. Thou shalt stock all diaper bags, strollers and pockets with dog bags, just in case. These shall fall out at awkward times in public, but shall not be easily accessible when someone is giving you the evil eye because your dog is squatting on their lawn.

IV. The dog shalt somehow get the leash tangled with the stroller a minimum of 13 times per walk. Yes, even though they are stopping at every lawn. This shall also only happen when you are not looking.

V. It shall take approximately 53 minutes to get ready for a 20 minute walk.

VI. The stroller cup holder shall be woefully inadequate for your coffee needs, and each bump shall cause the coffee to spray violently at your hands. Thou shalt curse that wasted caffeine because thou art exhausted.

VII. Thou shalt take up the entire sidewalk, no matter how hard you try to keep the dog on the grass. Thou shalt hope your baby is especially cute during these times so the other pedestrians forgive your transgression.

VIII. Thou shalt master the art of pushing the stroller with one hand and pulling discarded chicken wing bones out of the mouth of the dog with the other hand. Thou shall also carry hand sanitizer for just such occasions.

IX. Thou shalt invest in a weather shield for your stroller, a good waterproof coat and many towels for your dog because thou shalt be out in all weather conditions.

X. Thou shalt attempt to time your walks perfectly to avoid nap time, lunch time, bath time, story time and/or second nap time but thou shalt fail miserably every time. The dog shall whine, the baby shall fuss and thou shall regret deciding to take a walk.

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