Disclaimer: Kids and dogs are very different. I know this. I have gotten in trouble comparing kids with dogs before. There are some key differences. Like, one can be left in a kennel. Which one is that again? Hmm, better Google that.
Anyway, where was I? Oh, right – kids and dogs. I now have one of each and I can tell you that they are quite similar in a lot of ways. Or maybe that is just mine?
Here are ways my kid is basically a dog:
So, the baby started walking this weekend. Mom and Dad were all excited about it. They clapped and laughed. Big deal, I thought. I’ve been walking for ages. It’s not that hard. I went back to my toy. It is a really great toy. I thought my parents would love it too, but when I showed it to them they only looked at it and went back to clapping for the baby.
For real? Are they clapping for this guy? He’s not even doing any tricks! He’s just standing there. These people will clap for anything.
I’m just going to say it: the baby is not that impressive. Let’s look at the facts:
I didn’t get anything done today. Nope, nothing. Well, more accurately, I got a lot of things done, but none of them are easy to prove to others. I used to feel guilty about things like this, in my pre-baby days. While I feel less guilty now, I still feel compelled to make excuses about why I didn’t manage to do a load of laundry despite being home all day. So, today, instead of giving myself excuses, I decided to write them down here.
Here are the reasons I didn’t get anything done today:
Well, after about 8 months, it has finally happened. Baby MB has learned to crawl. Well…sort of crawl. Rather than the traditional crawl, he has opted to do the worm whenever the urge to move strikes him. (Which is often.)
Since he is not the first of his baby buddies to crawl, I began baby proofing the house early. I put up some baby gates, changed the outlet covers and did a sweep of the house for dangerous objects. I felt prepared.
As usual, I was wrong. Here are some things I was not prepared for when the baby started crawling: Continue reading
Well, it has been a great couple of weeks for Newbie Mom Site.
First, I hit 3000 views, and I owe it all to you, amazing readers! Did I mention that you all look wonderful today? Are you working out? It shows!
Since starting the blog I have had readers from all over the world, including Spain, Brazil, India, the US, Canada and some smaller places that my geographically-challenged brain did not even know existed. Okay, probably some of those hits were by accident but that’s okay because at least a few were not. Thank you, thank you for reading!
What else is new? Glad you asked! Continue reading
After many a sleepless night, my son has finally become a pretty good sleeper. (I know, feel free to make disparaging comments about me if your baby is not sleeping well at the moment. Are you done? Okay, can I go on now? Great. Where was I?)
Oh, right Baby MB has become a pretty good sleeper, but I still try to keep things quiet for daytime naps. My dog? Not so much. As soon as the baby dozes off, the dog morphs from laidback couch dog to hyper-vigilant guard dog, determined to protect us from any potential dangers. Continue reading
To the person who discarded their chicken wings on the street:
My dog would like to thank you for dropping all of the delicious bones. It was so nice of you to share instead of throwing them away at any of the 10 garbage cans we passed. You must be a really kind and generous person.
I. Thou shalt stop at every lawn for the dog to sniff. If the dog happens to skip a lawn, they shall pull you violently backward so as not to miss the delightful smells of this lawn.
II. The dog shall hate when you move steadily, but the baby shall hate when you stop. Thou art screwed either way. Continue reading