Once upon a time, in a Kingdom north of Danforth, there lived a King, Queen and their Prince Baby. After a busy day of Grandparent visits, it was time for Prince Baby to go to sleep. Prince Baby was yawning and rubbing his royal eyes. He could barely keep them open.

The King changed the royal diaper and dressed Prince Baby in his snuggly, warm pyjamas. The Queen fed the Prince Baby, put him in his royal crib with his royal stuffed animals, Sir Puppy and Sir Ducky, and read him several royal stories.

“Goodnight Prince Baby,” said the King.

“We love you!” said the Queen and they headed down the stairs of the castle.

Well, even though Prince Baby was very tired, he did not fall asleep. Instead he turned to his royal stuffed puppy, and said, “I don’t want to go to sleep Sir Puppy. What shall I do instead?”

“Well,” said Sir Puppy, “You could roll around.”

So Prince Baby began to roll onto his tummy, but he got stuck and began to cry.

“Help me Sir Puppy!” Prince Baby cried

“Don’t look at me,” said Sir Puppy, “I am just a stuffed animal. I don’t have thumbs. Just roll back.”

Prince Baby began to cry louder, until the King came to put him back on his back.

“Okay,” said Prince Baby,”I think I will go to sleep now.”

“Sure,” said Sir Puppy. “Or…you could stay up just a little longer and practice rolling.”

“Be careful your highness,” said the Sir Ducky. “If you stay awake too long, you will unleash the fuss monster.”

“The fuss monster! That is just a silly story!” said Sir Puppy

“No, the fuss monster is real,” insisted Sir Ducky. “Just be careful not to get too tired.”

“I don’t feel very tired, and I really want to roll. Well….I suppose it wouldn’t do any harm to just roll for a few minutes longer” Prince Baby said, and continued to roll. At first he was having fun, but then he became too tired and found himself getting grumpier and grumpier. He began to cry again. Once again the King came to rescue him.

But this time, he was not soothed. In fact, Prince Baby was becoming fussier and fussier. He should have listened to Sir Ducky, but instead he had unleashed the fuss monster. The fuss monster was becoming stronger and stronger. The Queen came to rock the Prince, but to no avail. The King changed the royal diaper, but the fuss monster was strong now and would not be soothed.

“I told you,” said Sir Ducky. “Fuss monster is no joke, y’all.”

There was nothing left to do but to use the only weapon that would soothe the fuss monster: the royal boob.

The Queen summoned the royal boob, feeling sure that the fuss monster would slink away as usual.

But alas, the fuss monster was so mighty that even the royal boob could not defeat him and Prince Baby screamed on.

The King and Queen tried everything, but still the fuss monster was strong. Eventually, they went down the castle steps to regroup and possibly call in the Royal army. They were about to give up, when the King went up for one more try and suddenly silence filled the castle.

The Queen and all the castle subjects rejoiced! What magic had the King performed?

The King descended the castle stairs to much applause and told his tale:

“Well, I went up there to soothe the mighty fuss monster, but he got tired and he just fell asleep.”

Wait, what? That’s a bit anti-climactic….

I suppose even a fuss monster needs his sleep. Honestly the King and Queen were too tired to ponder the fuss monster’s sudden defeat. It had been two hours, they were just happy the Prince wasn’t screaming in their faces.

In any event, there was much (quiet) joy in the kingdom. The King and Queen celebrated by watching 20 minutes of TV and then falling asleep.

And they all lived happily and sleepily ever after….until the next bedtime.

Photo credit: Ⅿeagan via VisualHunt / CC BY