Things I cried about when I was pregnant

The dog food commercial where a chocolate lab jumps into the car at progressively older ages. (I have a chocolate lab. After this commercial, I cried into her fur and asked her to live to be 107 years old.)

Dairy Queen got rid of my favourite blizzard and I didn’t have a back-up.

I threw up.

I had to wear shoes.

My IV made one of my arms cold, but the other was normal temperature.

Bending over to weed my garden made my heartburn worse, but by back yard was starting to look like an abandoned lot.

My mom and brother had a very long conversation about meat.

Diaper commercials. Adorable babies and moms hugging them. Especially the ones where the babies are in the hospital.

A terrible TV movie about baby trafficking.

My baby was 8 days late and I had to refill my Diclectin prescription. He was born the next day.

I ate half a burger.

My fingers were so swollen I couldn’t wear my wedding ring.

The “In Memoriam” segment of the Talking Dead. (For non-fans, this is a review of everyone who died in an episode of the Walking Dead. It is mostly zombies being hit in the head in various gory ways set to slow, dramatic classical music.)

Renovations on our house were running late and I suddenly felt that the baby would be born before the house was back to normal. (He was not. Not even close.)

A team won the Amazing Race. (I don’t even remember which one.)

It was raining, but my rain jacket wouldn’t fit over my stomach.

My dog whined.

Crying made my contacts dry, but I couldn’t stop crying.

I could smell the mustard on someone’s sandwich and it made me sick. Also, I missed sandwiches. But not mustard. It is a mediocre condiment at best.

I couldn’t get comfortable anywhere.

Border Security was a re-run. Also, I have seen all the Border Security episodes. (And I mean all of them.)









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