Passive-Agressive Notes I Would Leave if I Had the Ladyballs

To the person who discarded their chicken wings on the street:

My dog would like to thank you for dropping all of the delicious bones. It was so nice of you to share instead of throwing them away at any of the 10 garbage cans we passed. You must be a really kind and generous person.

I really appreciate the chance to test my observational skills and reflexes when my dog lunges for each wing and tries to eat the dangerous bones without warning. I have been trying to work on my arm strength, and every time my dog lunged toward a wing I got a chance to do bicep curls. What an imaginative way to use everyday objects to work out.

There is nothing I love more than reaching in the dog’s slobbery mouth and searching for sharp bone fragments. It really kept me on my toes while pushing a stroller!

It was so thoughtful of you to scatter them one at a time over two blocks, instead of all at once so that I had to bend down 20 times instead of just once. It has been a while since I did crunches, and this allowed me to walk and work out at the same time! Bonus!

I really enjoyed this walk and hope you can make this chicken wing feast a weekly tradition.

Thanks again,

Liz and Hazel

 


 

To the person who takes up 2 parking spaces across the street:

I would like to thank you for caring so much about my health. At first I thought you were just a jackass who can’t park, but upon further reflection, I now understand that you are only trying to give me more opportunity to exercise. It is so nice that you care so much about my wellbeing!

I also appreciate that you challenge me. I could take the easy way out and park close to my house, but you didn’t let me get away with that. Instead you pushed me to walk just a bit further with that baby car seat. You could park in any of the three other spots available on the street, but you chose this one. Sorry, these two.

Why? I can only guess that you wanted to give me and my son more bonding time on the walk from the car to the house. Thank you so much for this special gift. I can’t wait to see where you park next!

Sincerely,

Liz and Baby MB

 


 

To the person who watched me struggle to get my stroller into the coffee shop:

You could have just opened the door, so I could get my hot chocolate with a shot of espresso, but that would have been too easy. You are obviously someone who understands that life is hard, and didn’t want me to get complacent. Thank you so much for teaching me that nothing comes easy. This is a great lesson for my son…if he wasn’t asleep in the stroller.

Boy, that coffee tasted so much better because I attempted to get it for 10 minutes. You must have known this, and that is why you watched me attempt to pull the stroller in four different ways before finally getting through the door. You had to watch the work in order not to miss the moment where I was rewarded with my caffeine. Well played, my friend.

I look forward to seeing you tomorrow,

Liz

Photo via Visual Hunt

 

#momsterslink

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21 thoughts on “Passive-Agressive Notes I Would Leave if I Had the Ladyballs

  1. What is it with people watching another human being struggling with a stroller and a door?? Seriously. At least you turned your frustrations into a laugh for me, and I thank YOU for that!

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  2. Haha I love this, I wish I had the balls too! It’s amazing the things you think in your head and wish you had said afterwards! Some people are so rude aren’t they? #momsterslink

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  3. Loved this post! What is it with some people I will never understand? We could print these out and then hand them out in classic passive aggressive style, yes? #momsterlink

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  4. All I can say is people are such assholes sometimes! Have no consideration for other people. I will never forget the time that I was running through a busy airport about to miss my flight carrying all kinds of things in hand (long before the days of beefed up security). There was a woman who clearly saw me coming and knew she was standing right in the middle of my path. She just continued to stand there and smile like she knew she wasn’t going to move. So what did I do? Well I smacked her with my suitcase of course. She cussed at me in what I am certain was Chinese and so I just turned and gave her the universal language of the middle finger. I still laugh about it to this day. At least you can write a witty post about the assholes. Thanks so much for linking up with #momsterslink! Hope to see you again this Thursday!

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    1. Haha, true. I have been known to use the middle finger on occasion myself. (While driving mostly) Sometimes you just have to laugh at this irritating behaviour or you will go nuts. I enjoyed the linkup and I will be back for sure. Love reading new stuff!

      Liked by 1 person

  5. I love this 🙂 People are such ass holes at times! The last one really made me laugh, but it also annoyed me that someone just watched you struggle rather than grab the door
    Debbie

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