10 Steps to Shopping as a New Mom

Going shopping used to mean a fun day out with friends. You would leisurely stroll through the shops, spending time trying on new clothes, debating the purchase while twirling in the mirror. Then you would probably stop for coffee. Or a snack. Or both! Why not, you’ve got time.

Yeah, not so much of that any more! A little while back, I posted about my first shopping trip post baby. Now, due to popular demand, I will give you some insight into how I shop for clothes, now that I am a new mom. Okay, fine. No one asked. Too bad, suckers! Here we go.

Step 1: Quickly run into a store, pushing a stroller. Do a quick survey of the largest aisles, and grab a few things that are easy to reach. Pile these on the stroller, trying not to cover your baby completely. These clothes may or may not be appropriate for the season you are in.

Step 2: Go to the fitting room. Try to find one big enough for you and the baby. Hope no one with a wheelchair comes in at that moment so you don’t have to feel bad about taking the big room.

Step 3: Quickly throw on clothing over your head while unwrapping a Baby Mum Mum. If it takes longer then 10 seconds to put on, don’t bother.

Step 4: Do a quick glance at the mirror. Ask yourself, does it make you look like you are still pregnant? Is your movement restricted in any way? Do you need extra accessories? If the answer is yes to any of these – toss it back.

Step 5: Determine how easily can you pop a boob out of it, if you are breastfeeding. If you are unable to get said boob out in under 5 seconds, abandon it. Maybe next year.

Step 6: Before you make a final decision, check the tags to see if it is a keeper. It is not a keeper if it requires dry cleaning, doesn’t look like it can take a stain or is made of any fabric that would require an iron. It will not get ironed, so don’t try to convince yourself you will iron it. You will not. Leave it in the store.

Step 7: If you have any clothes left in the keep pile and you baby is still eating the Baby Mum mum, then gather them up and head to the cash.

Step 8: Try to keep your baby calm while the person in front of you attempts to return a years worth of clothing with no receipt and/or gets the cashier to check the price on every item. If possible, park the stroller in front of a mirror, to entertain the baby.

Step 9: Finally pay for the clothing. Crap, where is your wallet? You just had it. Please let the baby be adorable, so everyone will be patient.

Step 10: Leave the store with your purchased clothing. Congratulations! Now make sure you don’t leave the bag on top of the car. Seriously, check the roof.

#momsterslink

 

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14 thoughts on “10 Steps to Shopping as a New Mom

  1. I can relate to this massively, especially the ‘boob out in 5 seconds’ haha, it’s became such a chore that I now result to online shopping and do the ‘nope, nope not even close’ at home when the baby is sleeping. Maybe next year is right! Great post #momsterslink

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  2. There’s a reason that I shopped online a lot …! Wait until they get older and open the curtains of the changing room so you flash everyone or tell you that the outfit you’re trying on makes you look like a heifer … So many joys to come!

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  3. I’ve left the bag at the till! It really is a mad dash when shopping with a new baby in tow. I’ve also realized once getting home that the clothes don’t look as good as I thought in the two second glance they received in the fitting room!! #momsterlink x

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  4. Literally laughing out loud over here (while trying not to disturb my napping baby)! I have given in to online shopping for this very reason! Checking the tag is such a great point who the heck has time to iron or dry clean!?

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  5. I would suppose that leaving the bag on top of the car instead of the baby in the car seat would be better. I left a pizza on the roof of my car once and didn’t realize it until we got home to eat it and I thought I had lost my mind…oh wait, I did. I left it with the box of pizza lol. I tried clothes shopping with my kids ONCE. Cured that need. Nothing like your kids in the dressing room calling out to everyone about the dimples in your butt and the color of your underwear. Thanks for linking up with #momsterslink and I apologize for the delay in commenting as life has gotten in the way of blogging dammit. Hope you will join again …it runs every Thurs-Sun :))

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    1. I once left a box of very expensive gourmet doughnuts on the roof of our car while driving some friends home. It was heart-breaking. I never even thought of the commentary! Luckily my son can’t talk yet. I will be back this weekend. I have been on vacation and then sick, so I have only been doing minimal blogging.

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