Going shopping used to mean a fun day out with friends. You would leisurely stroll through the shops, spending time trying on new clothes, debating the purchase while twirling in the mirror. Then you would probably stop for coffee. Or a snack. Or both! Why not, you’ve got time.
Yeah, not so much of that any more! A little while back, I posted about my first shopping trip post baby. Now, due to popular demand, I will give you some insight into how I shop for clothes, now that I am a new mom. Okay, fine. No one asked. Too bad, suckers! Here we go.
Step 1: Quickly run into a store, pushing a stroller. Do a quick survey of the largest aisles, and grab a few things that are easy to reach. Pile these on the stroller, trying not to cover your baby completely. These clothes may or may not be appropriate for the season you are in.
Step 2: Go to the fitting room. Try to find one big enough for you and the baby. Hope no one with a wheelchair comes in at that moment so you don’t have to feel bad about taking the big room.
Step 3: Quickly throw on clothing over your head while unwrapping a Baby Mum Mum. If it takes longer then 10 seconds to put on, don’t bother.
Step 4: Do a quick glance at the mirror. Ask yourself, does it make you look like you are still pregnant? Is your movement restricted in any way? Do you need extra accessories? If the answer is yes to any of these – toss it back.
Step 5: Determine how easily can you pop a boob out of it, if you are breastfeeding. If you are unable to get said boob out in under 5 seconds, abandon it. Maybe next year.
Step 6: Before you make a final decision, check the tags to see if it is a keeper. It is not a keeper if it requires dry cleaning, doesn’t look like it can take a stain or is made of any fabric that would require an iron. It will not get ironed, so don’t try to convince yourself you will iron it. You will not. Leave it in the store.
Step 7: If you have any clothes left in the keep pile and you baby is still eating the Baby Mum mum, then gather them up and head to the cash.
Step 8: Try to keep your baby calm while the person in front of you attempts to return a years worth of clothing with no receipt and/or gets the cashier to check the price on every item. If possible, park the stroller in front of a mirror, to entertain the baby.
Step 9: Finally pay for the clothing. Crap, where is your wallet? You just had it. Please let the baby be adorable, so everyone will be patient.
Step 10: Leave the store with your purchased clothing. Congratulations! Now make sure you don’t leave the bag on top of the car. Seriously, check the roof.