Daycare in Toronto is not for the faint of heart.

Between the outlandish expense, and the unfathomable politics of the daycare centre wait list, it is enough to drive anyone crazy. So, it is only natural if you find yourself exhibiting some rather bizarre behaviours in your quest for day care.

What type of behaviour, you ask? Since we have finally found daycare for my baby, I now have time to compile this list.

If at least 4 of the following statements apply to you, you may be searching for daycare in Toronto:

You are on 10 daycare waiting lists and still pregnant. Then you put yourself on 10 others for the next kid. Just in case.

You keep track of houses with large strollers out front in case they are home day cares. You then try to bump into them “accidentally” and casually mention that you are looking for daycare.

Photo credit: bill barber via Visual hunt / CC BY-NC

You googled “Do Daycares take Canadian Tire Money”. I’ll save you some time: They do not. You may need a loan.

Would be happier getting a daycare spot then winning the lottery. Or maybe you could win the lottery and then BUY a daycare! Genius! (Or just not work. Either way – off to the convenience store!!)

You keep dropping hints to your parents about how taking care of grand kids makes them healthier, happier and 10% better looking. You may or may not have made a fake website stating these “facts” and sent them the link.

All your conversations about daycare end with the phrase, “May the odds be ever in your favour.”

Your backup plan is to secretly sneak your baby into work for the next four years. Either that or train your dog to babysit. (Just kidding, that would never work. Or would it? Hmm…)

You are getting so desperate that you begin scoping out your neighbourhood for responsible adults. Okay, who are we kidding, any adults who look like they have daytime availability. Time is ticking here. Ooh, how about that homeless guy you pass on the way to the subway? He seems to appreciate the importance of outdoor play. Better get on his wait list.

You break into a cold sweat every time you hear the words wait list. Then you are compelled to add your name to said wait list.

In the first month of searching you look in your neighbourhood. In the second month, you widen the search to anything along the subway line. By month three, it is anywhere within city limits. Who cares if it is a subway and two busses away? You’ll just get up at 3 am. That is totally workable. Shut up, I said WORKABLE.

You are ready to fight to the death in a cage match for the last available daycare spot. Well, maybe not to the death. (Who would pay for daycare if you died?) You will definitely put up with some light, non-facial bruising though.

Photo via Visualhunt.com

When you finally get a daycare spot, you may have to sell your house to pay for it. Except if you live in Toronto, you probably can’t afford to buy a house. Okay, that’s fine, you’ll just have to sell some other stuff, like…ummmm….there must be something…your CD’s? Crap, no one is going to buy those. You are so screwed.

Featured Photo credit: Jason L. Parks via Visualhunt / CC BY-NC-ND