3 Things I didn’t believe were real before I had my baby

Mommy Brain:

Mommy Brain is real. I have experienced it and… wait, what was I saying?

Oh yes, I for sure thought this was just code for being tired. Wrong! If I had to define “mommy brain” now, I would say it is a strange combination of hormones, sleep deprivation and adapting to a complete life change. Continue reading

Get out, my darling parasite. (And other thoughts when your baby is VERY late.)

 

Our baby was 8 days late. This doesn’t seem like much now, but it was actually the longest week of my life.

You see, I spent my whole pregnancy with the due date circled on my calendar, and much like many first time moms, when it passed without a baby emerging from my uterus, I felt somehow cheated. What is the hold up?, I wondered. Why is he still in there?

I waited for nearly a year for this. I had the pregnancy from hell. (Which you can read about here, if you like. Let’s be honest, if your baby is late, you probably have the time.) I thought I had put in my time on this project. I grew a baby from scratch. I didn’t eat for 9 months. The further I got past the due date, the more irritated I became, but what else could I do? The baby obviously didn’t get the memo. Continue reading

I Don’t Understand Birth Plans

I don’t understand birth plans.

I mean, I know what they are, but I don’t really understand why they exist.

I did not write a birth plan. I am someone who likes to plan. I plan for a living. My husband and I planned for a summer baby. (And luckily got one.) I love lists. But I did not write a birth plan.

If I had, I think it would look something like this:

Birth Plan

  1. Get baby out of my uterus. Seriously, get him out now.
  2. Keep us both safe.

Continue reading

Things I cried about when I was pregnant

The dog food commercial where a chocolate lab jumps into the car at progressively older ages. (I have a chocolate lab. After this commercial, I cried into her fur and asked her to live to be 107 years old.)

Dairy Queen got rid of my favourite blizzard and I didn’t have a back-up. Continue reading

Pregnancy: When everyone is enjoying it more than you

I did not enjoy being pregnant. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy very much having a baby. I love the end result, but I did not like the process of growing him. In fact, I am still very traumatized by it.

After my son was born, my husband asked me if I had to do either the pregnancy or the labour over again, which would I choose? For me, it is the labour, no question. Continue reading