Disclaimer: Kids and dogs are very different. I know this. I have gotten in trouble comparing kids with dogs before. There are some key differences. Like, one can be left in a kennel. Which one is that again? Hmm, better Google that.
Anyway, where was I? Oh, right – kids and dogs. I now have one of each and I can tell you that they are quite similar in a lot of ways. Or maybe that is just mine?
Here are ways my kid is basically a dog:
He plays fetch
What started as a distraction for my son while I was sick has turned into an obsession for him. He toddles around the house in search of the bright orange tennis balls, which actually belong to my dog. When he finds one he squeals, “ball!” and with his eyes shining with pure glee, he picks it up and throws it in the general direction of the dog.
The dog watches the ball bounce a couple of feet, and gives me a look that says, “Is he even trying?” before sighing and racing towards the ball. This can continue for ages until either one of them gets hungry or the ball falls through the stair rails into the basement. (The latter will mean both of them looking through the stair rails and crying.)
Yes, one tennis ball will keep everyone in the house busy for hours. If you are looking to kill time, I highly recommend teaching your kid to play fetch.
He tries to eat most things he finds
Both my son and the dog love eating. They will eat anything. Food, non-food – doesn’t matter.
Let’s play a game. I will list something and you guess whether it is a favourite of the dog or the baby. Okay, first one: sand. Got that one? If you said baby, you win! How about chicken bones? Right, that one is the dog. Okay, one more: dog kibble. That one is a trick. The answer is both. Yup, my baby and dog are both desperate to eat dog kibble. The baby regularly throws tantrums when I won’t let him eat the dog’s kibble. The dog, to her credit, is very good about it.
They are also dying to eat anything I am currently eating. Also, everything I am thinking about eating. My kid basically eats like my dog, kibble and all.
They both drool constantly
It is super drooly here at our house. It is basically a slip and slide. A lot of it is the dog, but the baby contributes a large amount of drool. I am constantly trying to decide if the wet spot on my shirt is drool or pee. I assume this is a temporary thing – for the baby at least.
He communicates only in short, loud bursts of sound
While he is picking up some words, most of his communication consists of pointing and exclaiming, “Ah!” or “Dat”. Sometimes he makes sounds that are rather bark-like, and I start to worry. Is he learning to talk from the dog? Is he going to be some psychology case study – the boy who barks? Hopefully this stops by the time he gets to school…
So, at the risk of sounding like a bad parent, my kid is basically a tiny hairless dog. (But cuter, I think.) Am I the only one who thinks this about their kid?