The Olympics continue to make us all into sports fans this week. Last time I wrote about my ideas for Mom Olympic events. (Or Momlympics, if you will.) This week, after watching athletes crush world records in the aquatic events, I started thinking about what kinds of world records would be held by moms. You know, if someone had time to keep track of that kind of thing. (I don’t. Don’t ask me.)
Anyway, here are some world records that would be held by moms:
Most coffee drunk in a 24 hour period.
Fastest sprint to the stairs to rescue a climbing baby.
Most days spent wearing hair in a bun.
Most time spent cooking food. Also least time spent eating food.
Most bodily fluids on a T-shirt.
Longest suppressed eye-roll.
Most questions answered in a 20 minute period.
Most wine consumed after bedtime.
Most consecutive hours doing laundry.
Most repetition of the word “no”.
Longest continuous carry of a child who can completely walk.
Most use of the drive-through.
Most re-readings of the same bedtime story.
Most children’s songs sung in a 2 hour period.
Most episodes of Paw Patrol seen in 24 hours.
Fastest consumption of a chocolate bar. (Because the kids were coming in the room and you didn’t want to share.)
Most space covered by toys. (In square footage.)
Largest suitcase for a day trip.
Most cold meals eaten in a year.
Longest walk around the block.
Most soccer games attended.
Most conversations about poop.
Most conversations about nap schedules.
Fewest coherent conversations about anything.
What are some other world records you think would be held my moms…if they existed?