I. Thou shalt bring all the baby’s toys in hopes of distracting them, but all the baby shall want to do is play with napkins.
II. Thou shalt attempt to pack a sense of humour and some patience. Thou will not be able to fit those things in thine suitcases because of all the toys.
III. Thou shalt attempt to stay in a hotel with several rooms, or thou shall spend thine nights hidden in the bathroom to avoid waking up the baby.
IV. Thou shalt try to get the baby to sleep on the plane. The baby shall fuss for the whole flight and fall asleep during the landing.
V. The baby shall not sleep, but will somehow have more energy than ever. He shall channel it into destroying the hotel room.
VI. Thou shalt bring enough outfits to last until the baby turns 12. He shall ruin all of them in 24 minutes.
VII. The baby shall remain unimpressed with all of the amazing tourist attractions thou hast carefully planned, but will be completely captivated by a ceiling fan in the lobby.
VIII. The baby shall choose your vacation to develop all of his most loudest, most annoying noises.
IX. All thine activities shall occur between 6 am and 6 pm. Thou will only encounter other new parents and senior citizens.
X. Thou shall spend most of your trip budget on coffee and baby mum mums.
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